Social Emotional Skills November 2020
 
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November 2020
Early Learning and Elementary Snapshot

Fostering Social and Emotional Skills at Home

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There has always been the recognition of the importance of social emotional skills, however COVID-19 has shone a light on just how much they matter. These skills encompass everything from goal setting to stress management, and provide both children and adults with tools they can use to express themselves authentically and appropriately.
Social-emotional skills are the strategies one has for managing strong emotions, navigating relationships, working effectively with others, solving difficult problems, and making responsible decisions. When these skills are taught and supported, children are more likely to cope with life's challenges effectively.
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In practical terms, healthy social and emotional skills look like bouncing back from minor conflicts, sitting to listen to a story, focusing on the task at hand, showing kindness and empathy when appropriate. These involve the ability to manage feelings and impulses, to view situations from different perspectives, and make good choices, which are all needed to grow and mature.

Components of Social Emotional Learning

Self-awareness is being able to recognize and understand one’s emotions and how they translate into our behaviors. This includes recognizing stress or negative emotions, being aware of one’s abilities and weaknesses as well as a strong sense of optimism.
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Self-management takes self-awareness one step further into the ability to manage one’s feelings and behaviors. This can include controlling anger, handling stress, self-motivation, or persistence through setbacks.
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Social awareness looks outward and is about empathizing with others and possessing a willingness to understand and respect the unique experiences, norms, and behaviors of others.
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Relationships skills include creating and maintaining healthy relationships through cooperation, active listening, conflict resolution and communication.
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Making responsible decisions includes making safe, healthy choices that align with one’s healthy personal moral code and support personal well-being and the well-being of others.
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In this video Dr Martin Brokenleg introduces the First Peoples Principles of Learning that focus on a Social Emotional Framework.
   
"This is inspiring, and powerful. Thank you for sharing !"  Viewer
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Social Emotional Learning at School

In the 2018-2019 school year the K-5 Second Step program was rolled out in all of our elementary schools. Our schools are at different stages of implementation and we continue to provide training and support for school staff.

Second Step is a research-based program rooted in social-emotional learning. It helps children sort through complicated emotions, make sound decisions, build positive relationships and manage strong feelings. 

As a parent you may be receiving Second Step Home Links from your school. The Home Links serve as a bridge between school and home and provide parents with the opportunity to reinforce the SEL skills that are being learned at school.
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Chances are you’re already doing a lot to support your child with these skills, but keep reading to make additional connections about what it is, why it’s important, and opportunities to build skills. One of the best ways to help foster these skills at home is through leading by example. It‘s important for your child to see you modeling these behaviours. Not only does this benefit your own social emotional wellbeing bit also helps to form a deeper connection at home. 
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Regular practice is key, just as it is for any other skill like reading, math or learning a sport. We have to practice identifying, expressing and managing our emotions. Empathy is a muscle we have to flex. By consistently doing so we will have the skills to draw upon to help us navigate life.
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Take time to talk about feelings, including your own, every day. Spend time reflecting on what happened during the day and how it made you feel. Example “This morning I got stuck in traffic on the way to work which made me frustrated.”

Identify feelings. Helping your child identify their feelings is the first step in helping them manage them. Children who are able to identify, understand, express and manage a wide range of feelings experience long term benefits to their mental health and wellbeing. You can use characters from books or movies to point out feelings. The movie “Inside Out “ can be a fun way to help your child spot emotions.
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Pay attention to your child’s natural calming strategies. 
Your child might naturally look for comfort in a pillow or blanket, or try to walk away from upsetting situations. Understanding this can help you encourage those behaviors at other times. You can also help identify a special place for them to calm down, and let them choose what to call the space. Teaching your child that it is okay to take some time to collect themselves will allow them to take the initiative and do it on their own. It is best to practice this when your child is calm so they can use the technique or space when they are upset.
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Work with your child to find solutions to interpersonal problems. 
A helpful approach is to ask good questions about what your child thinks they could do in any situation, and what the consequences of their particular solution may be. For example, if they are having a hard time with a classmate, you can say, “If your friend doesn’t want to play with you, you might want to ask them if you did anything to hurt their feelings. And if you did, what could you do about it?" It is easier to start building these essential skills when they are young and problems are less serious.
Talk about friendships.
Ask your child who their friends are, about the qualities they look for in a friend and how they like their friends to treat them. For example, “Why do you like to play with Jamal after school? What makes him a good friend?” Make sure to ask what makes them a good friend to others. 
Limit screen time.
Try not to give your child an electronic device every time you find yourselves waiting for a doctor’s appointment, picking up a sibling from school, or waiting for food to arrive in a restaurant. There’s value for your child in learning to manage themselves in situations where they are not entertained.

Try role-playing. 
For example, play grocery store and have them pretend to be the cashier. As your child pretends, they are learning self-management by acting like the cashier and scanning your groceries until they are done, without getting distracted.
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This is a video to inform parents on SEL in schools and provide them with insights on SEL in their own parenting practices in order to support their children‘s social and emotional know-how.
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Give back.
Looking at the world with intention is a great way to build perspective and empathy. Encourage your child to help a neighbour by sweeping their walkway or raking leaves, donate outgrown clothing to charity, or raise money for a cause that matters to them.
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Cook with your child.
Ask your child to help make their favorite dish by following your directions step by step. Make sure to say “please” and “thank you” and acknowledge all of their efforts. This will  help them learn about the art of listening, and the importance of being polite to others, especially while working on group projects.
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Let them make more decisions.
Kids can’t make wise decisions if they never have the chance to practice, and they won’t learn to choose wisely if they don’t experience the consequences of failing to do so. Leave the smaller consequence choices in their hands. For example, "it is going to rain today, do you want to wear your boots or shoes?"
Let your child problem solve. If your child‘s block tower keeps falling or if they get into an argument with a peer on the playground, resist stepping in to fix the problem. Pause to give your child space to continue the challenging task or work out social issues. Step in if they ask for help or if things do not go well.
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Make routines into an art project. 
Children feel safe when they have routines and know what to expect. You can make routines more fun and meaningful by turning them into an art project. Work with your child to review the steps for getting ready for bed or for school. You can cut pictures out of magazines, like toothbrushes or backpacks, to add to the art work. Map out what is done first and what is done last. Clearly labeling what is expected of them helps them act accordingly. If they have difficulty with routines, try breaking them into smaller steps.
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SuperBetter App 

The philosophy behind the this free app is that we can improve ourselves by living our lives as we would play a video game. By assigning point values to things that we need to do to be happy, healthy, and well-adjusted it makes them seem less like chores and more like fun little missions. Credit is given for chugging a glass of water, getting off the couch, resisting fingernail-chewing, reaching out to a friend, or journaling about how one might rewire their thinking or habits. 

SuperBetter contains no mature content, it most suitable for kids 8 and older and those that need support with self-awareness (understanding our own actions, thoughts and feelings) and self management (managing our actions, feelings and behaviors).
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Resources and References
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