Social Emotional Skills November 2020
 
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November 2020
Middle Snapshot

Social and Emotional Learning: Strategies for Parents

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There has always been the recognition of the importance of social emotional skills, however COVID-19 has shone a light on just how much they matter. These skills encompass everything from goal setting to stress management, and provide both children and adults with tools they can use to express themselves authentically and appropriately.
Social-emotional skills are the strategies one has for managing strong emotions, navigating relationships, working effectively with others, solving difficult problems, and making responsible decisions. When these skills are taught and supported, children are more likely to cope with life's challenges effectively.
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In practical terms, healthy social and emotional skills look like making informed decisions, sitting to listen to a lesson, focusing on the task at hand, showing kindness and empathy when appropriate. These involve the ability to manage feelings and impulses, to view situations from different perspectives, and make good choices, which are all needed to grow and mature.

Effective social and emotional learning programming involves coordinated classroom, schoolwide, family, and community practices that help youth develop the following five key skills: 

Self-awareness involves understanding one's own emotions, personal goals, and values. This includes accurately assessing one's strengths and limitations, having positive mindsets, and possessing a well-grounded sense of self-efficacy and optimism. High levels of self-awareness require the ability to recognize how thoughts, feelings, and actions are interconnected.
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Self-management requires skills and attitudes that facilitate the ability to regulate one's own emotions and behaviors. This includes the ability to delay gratification, manage stress, control impulses, and persevere through challenges in order to achieve personal and educational goals.
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Social awareness involves the ability to understand, empathize, and feel compassion for those with different backgrounds or cultures. It also involves understanding social norms for behavior and recognizing family, school, and community resources and supports.
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Relationship skills help students establish and maintain healthy and rewarding relationships, and to act in accordance with social norms. These skills involve communicating clearly, listening actively, cooperating, resisting inappropriate social pressure, negotiating conflict constructively, and seeking help when it is needed.
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Responsible decision making involves learning how to make constructive choices about personal behavior and social interactions across diverse settings. It requires the ability to consider ethical standards, safety concerns, accurate behavioral norms for risky behaviors, the health and well-being of self and others, and to make realistic evaluation of various actions' consequences.
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In this video Dr Martin Brokenleg introduces the First Peoples Principles of Learning that focus on a Social Emotional Framework. 
"This is inspiring, and powerful. Thank you for sharing !"  Viewer
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Short and long term benefits of healthy social emotional skills:
 
More positive attitudes toward oneself, others, and tasks including enhanced self-efficacy, confidence, persistence, empathy, connection and commitment to school, and a sense of purpose

More positive social behaviors and relationships with peers and adults

Reduced conduct problems and risk-taking behavior

Decreased emotional distress
Improved test scores, grades, and school attendance  

Social Emotional Learning at School

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The Mental Health Curriculum Guide for Understanding Mental Health and Mental Illness is the only evidence-based mental health curriculum resource that has been demonstrated to improve both teachers’ and students’ understanding of mental health. 

The Guide has been developed to help enhance the mental health literacy of students aged 13-15 years. This is the time of the lifespan in which the diagnoses of mental disorders begins to increase dramatically; therefore it is essential that young people be able to have the knowledge, attitudes and competencies to help themselves and others if necessary. 
Mental Health Literacy has four components:
1. Understanding how to improve and maintain good mental health
2. Understanding mental disorders and their treatments
3. Decreasing stigma
4. Enhancing help-seeking skills

We continue to train middle school educators on the Guide so they feel confident to implement the lessons with their students.
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Chances are you’re already doing a lot to support your adolescent with these skills, but keep reading to make additional connections about what it is, why it’s important, and opportunities to build skills. 

Regular practice is key, just as it is for any other skill like reading, math or learning a sport. We have to practice identifying, expressing and managing our emotions. Empathy is a muscle we have to flex. By consistently doing so we will have the skills to draw upon to help us navigate life.
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Model the behavior you seek. Whether it's apologizing when you're in the wrong or treating others with respect and kindness, children learn a great deal about relationships from observing the behavior of their parents.


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Respect differences. Every child has his or her own unique talents and abilities. Whether in academics, athletics, or interpersonal relationships, resist the urge to compare your child to friends or siblings. Instead, honor your child's accomplishments and provide support and encouragement for the inevitable challenges they face.
Talk about friendships.
A fundamental part of social and emotional skill is being able to read and respond to relationships. Encourage your child, without judgement, to think about their friendships in terms of how they feel in those relationships. What do they get from the relationship? Would they feel better or worse without it? Does it bring out the best or the worst in them? These aren’t easy things to think about, or to answer, but it is important they understand the decision about who they let close is always theirs to make.
Use social media as a conversation starter. Tweens and teens are particularly interested in social dynamics, so play on this interest. When someone on social media gets mad, you might ask, “What could this person have done instead?” or “How can you use your strong feelings in a positive way to bring greater justice, fairness and respect to the situation?”
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Personalize your conversations. Your family’s culture, background and experiences will inform how you talk with your child about their world. The more you personalize conversations about social-emotional learning, the more relevant that learning becomes.
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This video talks about SEL in schools as well as providing parents with insights on SEL in their own parenting practices in order to support their children‘s social and emotional skills. 
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Give back.
Looking at the world with intention is a great way to build perspective and empathy. Encourage your child to help a neighbour by sweeping their walkway or raking leaves, donate outgrown clothing to charity, or raise money for a cause that matters to them.
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Nurture your child's self-esteem. A child with a good sense of self is happier, more well-adjusted, and does better in school. Strategies for fostering self-esteem include giving your adolescent responsibilities, allowing them to make age-appropriate choices, and showing your appreciation for a job well done.
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Take advantage of support services. Seek the advice and support of school counselors or other social services during times of family crisis, such as a divorce or the death of a close friend or family member. Remember that no matter how close you are to your child, they may be more comfortable discussing a troubling family situation with another trusted adult.
Listen. When your teen has a tough moment, create a space to listen. Listening is a simple and easy way to validate the feelings that kids experience, regardless of the size of the problem.

Reflect. As things happen in the world around you—whether it be a relatively insignificant moment at a sports game or something that makes national headlines—engage your teen in conversations that help them identify problems and design solutions. When kids work through the problem-solving process with you, they grow their ability to think critically on their own.

Learning Social Emotional Skills Using Video Games and Apps

Dr Randy Kulman is a psychologist who specializes in the field of digital play, and he has identified the following video games and app as excellent tools for fostering empathy, resilience, goal setting, responsibility and personal awareness.
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Gone Home

This award-winning video game is a quiet first-person exploration that emphasizes important SEL and positive psychology skill. Players explore the concepts of reflection, self-assessment, empathy, hope, and resilience as they explore the main character’s deserted home. Your teen will not only love Gone Home’s mature story and interesting characters, they’ll gain a sense of responsibility and accomplishment that comes with player-driven gameplay.
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Never Alone

Your adolescent will appreciate a video game with the familiarity of a platformer that manages to push them out of their comfort zone. With challenging gameplay Never Alone manages to tell an important historical tale that translates across cultures. Created in cooperation with the indigenous Iñupiaq of Alaska, Never Alone helps your teen see beyond themselves to learn about and appreciate the resilience of a people who have endured innumerable hardships. 
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Superbetter App

SuperBetter App is like a video game for life, helping users achieve personal goals by allowing them to make everyday chores and responsibilities into quests and missions. Drinking more water, exercising, avoiding unhealthy foods and habits, calling a friend, writing a letter, taking a bike ride — anything a user needs to work on, they can find some outside accountability and video-game-style immediate rewards in SuperBetter. 
Bringing social-emotional learning into the home empowers families to use life’s moments, both good and bad, as ways to help their child grow. With that in mind, parents can look at the messiness of everyday life as a series of opportunities for real-life, in-the-moment, social-emotional learning with their child.
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November Middle School Poster

Several copies of this poster have been delivered to all middle schools to post for student learning. It highlights the social emotional skills of self-awareness, self-management and responsible decision making. 
Resources and References
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